A Follow-up to Proud Parent...

After my last post, my dad sent me the following poem.  I thought it was too good not to share...

The Prophet

 by Kahil Gibran

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as he loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable.

And, as my dad reminded me, God also loves the bow. 

Really Proud..And, Trying to Stay Humble

The past week was an AWESOME week for our kids.  Each of them shined in their own unique way, and I'd be lying if I didn't say that I am so very proud of them!  Just a glimpse at their tremendous accomplishments:

• Isaac is Student of the Month.  It was awesome to sit in the Student of the Month Breakfast on Wednesday morning and hear about Isaac's accomplishments both academically as well as socially.  Brian and I glowed with that "we-really-are-great-parents-with-a-super-great-kid" glow for the entire day.  It isn't very often you catch a glimpse into your kid's world and see that they are the respectful, intelligent young person you pray for them to be.
• Emma and Hannah were stars in our community production of Cinderella.  Both of the girls had one week to learn their lines, dance moves and stage cues for two shows over the weekend.  It was awesome to see them rise up to such a huge challenge and juggle it along with their regular weekly schedule.  And, the show was terrific!  Again, Brian and I glowed with the "we-really-are-great-parents-with-super-great-kids" glow for the entire weekend.  What a priveledge to watch our girls use their God-given talents in such a fun and entertaining way!
• Jayden had our neighbor over for a play-date on Wednesday afternoon.  His friend is 4 1/2 and a girl.  This may be a hurdle for other active boys, but not Mr. Jay.  He took his little friend alongside of him and was more than willing to play whatever she wanted to play.  It was awesome to watch him be so loving and caring to make her happy!  He was disappointed when she had to go home, and Jay has already started planning their next afternoon of fun.  Brian and I glowed with the "we-really-are-great-parents-with-a-super-loving-kid" glow for the rest of the day.  It was a joy to see God's love pour out of Jayden for his friend!

As I basked in the glow of such a wonderful week, I began to realize that I was on some level taking the credit for these awesome kids.  Thoughts like:  "All my mothering lectures sure are paying off!"; "Clearly, all those home-cooked meals have given them the nutrition they needed to be such excellent kids."; "Our family meetings really are helping instill Christian values in their lives."; and "This new detergent really does change lives!  Thank, God, for Tide!"  And, while all of these thoughts may hold some fragment of truth, I have come to realize that I do myself (and our family) a huge disservice if I actually buy into this line of thinking.

The reality remains that if I take credit for my children's good things, then I must also be ready to accept the blame for their bad things.  For as much as I am responsible for their good choices and actions, I am also accountable for their bad.  I accept that Brian and I can set a tone for success or failure for our children's lives.  I admit that my attitude will and can influence theirs.  However, after all the lectures are said, attitudes checked and laundry done, my children have their own free-will.  They have the choice to succeed or fail.  They have the freedom to live up to our expectations or not. 

So, I choose to give credit where credit is due.  I am thanking God for sharing these four beautiful, talented, intelligent and gifted children with me.  I consider it an honor to be a part of the adventure of raising them.  It is a challenge that I don't take lightly as I try to teach, mold and encourage the way that a mother should.  And, in recognizing that it is God who should receive glory for their good days, I can also share with God the frustration, tears and sorrow that comes with their bad days.  It is good to know that I am not on the front lines of the parenting battle by myself.  I come equipped with a rather large arsonnel (aka Holy Spirit, God, Jesus Christ, etc.).

And, so it is that I begin today with this prayer:

Father God,

Thank you for these children.

Thank you for the gifts of their laughter, talents and joy.

Please help me to teach them the way that you desire

so that I may raise them to be the men and women you have called them to be.

Help me always to remember that these children are yours, and I am blessed

to simply be along for this adventure called life.

Amen.

Showered and Cleansed

As I stood in the shower letting the water run down my face, I felt the last four days of oil, dirt and grime wash away.  The long-awaited warm waters not only took away the physical evidence of my past days without running water, but they also washed away the stress and strain of a vacation adventure "modified" by a broken furnace and frozen pipes. 

As the soap suds washed down the drain, I could feel my spirits begin to be renewed.  It was almost as if the cloud of gloom from the past few days was being scrubbed off, and I was reminded of how wonderful it feels to be alive and to be clean.  A renewed sense of joy entered into my heart as I thought through all the things I love freshly clean:

• The smell of the outdoors after a spring rain
• The look of a newly cleaned counter (without piles of papers)
• The taste of freshly cleaned strawberries
• The sound of a crisply played piano piece that my daughter worked hours to perfect
• The smell of a clean baby freshly powdered before bed
• The feel of crisp, clean sheets

There are so many visions, smells, sounds and thoughts that raced through my head.  But, I kept coming back to the image of fresh snow.  Although spring is fast approaching (I hope!), I do love the look of clean, white snow.  The image came home as I read Psalm 51:

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I will be clean;

wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Let me hear joy and gladness;

let the bones you have crushed rejoice.

Hide your face from my sins

and blot out all my iniquity.

Create in me a pure heart, O God,

and renew a steadfast spirit within me.

Psalm 51: 7-10

The washing away of the physical dirt is so very similar to that of the sins that have been washed away through my baptism.  I have been made whiter than newly fallen snow.  I am clean.  How often have I been equally refreshed by the forgiveness from God for every sin?  Daily?   Hourly? 

Forgiveness is such a difficult concept for me.  For many years, I felt that forgiveness was something I gave so that someone else could (and should) feel better.  But, as I have grown older, I have come to realize that forgiveness of others can also be a gift that I give myself.  Forgiveness is the freedom to no longer allow an event or a person to hold your emotions and actions hostage.  It does not mean forgetting.  It is simply the act of moving forward and leaving the past in the past. 

I do not mean to over-simplify forgiveness.  I know that for me to ask for forgiveness is an act of humility.  In our family, we are BIG on grace.  However, along with grace, we also have to believe in forgiveness and humble ourselves to recognize when we were wrong.  Then, we have to take appropriate action -- admitting we are wrong and asking for forgiveness.

Whenever we receive the gift of forgiveness, it is such a cleansing and freeing experience.  It is a gift that God freely gives to us any and every time we ask for it.  It is that feeling of freshness that can only be truly appreciated after going 4 days without it.