And, life continues on. Each day is a combination of "must-dos, try-to-dos, and going-to-dos."
There are the '"must-dos: laundry, cleaning, laundry, taxi service, making meals, grocery shopping, paying bills, dishes, homework, and more laundry.
The "try-to-dos:" de-cluttering our home (can I simply say that 7 people have LOTS of stuff...and, not everything is a treasure?!), couponing, meal planning, phone calls with family and friends, e-mails, fundraising for the adoption, spring cleaning (don't look inside our fridge....please), scrapbooks, adoption paperwork & reading, decorate or un-decorate depending on the holiday or season, thank you notes and so much, much more.
Then, there is the "going-to-dos:" this is the category where the majority of my life happens...the living in the moment of being a mom of 5 dynamic, energetic kids.
I'm going to be honest, people. There are still Christmas decorations hanging in my home. And, as you can see, it isn't actually hanging fully on the wall anymore! It is like a constant reminder that my "to-do" list is NOT getting done. There was a time in my life, that this would have really, really bothered me. I am a Type A++++++++++ and working my recovery steps. In the not-so-distant-past, I would have forgone sleep, time with my family, exercising and quiet time in order to finish taking down the Christmas decorations, organizing the pantry, cleaning out the fridge and responding to phone calls and e-mails.
However, I have come to realize that now:
I have to make time to get dirty. Messy floors will eventually get clean. But this day's "going-to-do" had to be homemade silky playdough.
I have to make time to enjoy my daughters' piano teacher's senior recital and appreciate God's gifts of amazing talent, drive and passion. Homework and chores can wait. An outing with my girls was this day's "going-to-do."
I have to make the most of sunshine, warm temps and parks. I am all to aware that soon enough he won't want to play at the park with me...and, may someday pretend to not even recognize me! This day's "going-to-do" had to be a trip to the park.
I have to endure...and enjoy Carnival Night Fundraisers at our kids' school. There is nothing like a good, healthy belly laugh while watching my kids compete with floor scooters and plungers. Yes. Everyone cheated...but, Isaac is the best cheater. I'm a proud momma?!
I have to seize the opportunity for a date night with my hubby any chance I can get...even if it is sitting on cold bleachers in the rain. Added bonus, seeing Jayden play the sport he loves with a passion.
I have to make time to decorate bedrooms and create "sanity space" for Hannah. Working with her to organize, de-clutter and decorate her space creates moments for both of us to learn, grow and shine. We clearly have very different tastes, and I have also learned the art of compromise and negotiation.
I need to make room for zuberts (sp?), giggles and tickle sessions.
I need to be open to a wheat berry table in my kitchen...with wheat berries all over the floor. Messy is okay. Creating learning experiences are a daily "going-to-do" that will trump my "to-do" list every time.
I need to seize the moment when my teenager agrees to take a walk and talk with me. Those moments are too few and precious. Always a "going-to-do" for any day.
I need to enjoy watching my children love each other and absorb those moments into a long-term memory bank. As other parents know, too much of my day is consumed with referring arguments. Any moments of harmony will be enjoyed as a "going-to-do" for any day.
My newest lesson (as of yesterday), I need to have more surprises and fun with my kids. These balloons are waiting for Jayden to celebrate April Fool's Day. Having time to be silly needs to be a "going-to-do" for me.
Today, my "going-to-do" was to make a cheese cake for my hubby. He wouldn't care if we celebrated his birthday or not. But, it is important for me to celebrate the dad and husband he is...and making it through another year with me!
I'm not reformed from my "Type A ways" by any stretch of the imagination. My family can attest that there are still chore lists to finish and schedules to keep. However, I'm learning that life is more about patience and strength for the journey than the satisfaction of my boxes all checked.
And, throughout all of this, we continue to have the pull to adopt and add to our family. Some days, it is only a whisper of a thought. Other days, it is an overwhelming feeling as I try to navigate how to plan our summer or think of new ways to raise funds. Some days, the process is a "must-do" as we need to gather photos for our profile book or finish plates/mugs or scarves. Other days, the process is a "try-to-do" as other things become more pressing "must-dos." Then, there is today, where my heart cried out to share our journey with you through this blog. Today, it is a "going-to-do."
We are so very grateful to have so many friends and family joining us in this journey. Thank you for your continual support both through your prayers and financially. We know that this process is all in God's hands, but the adventure is made so much better when we are surrounded by such a wonderful cloud of witnesses and prayer warriors.
And, now to return to the "to-do" list....wait. I hear the bus coming....
