Today brings forth all the emotions and feelings of all the years past. Joy for being a mother of 5 beautiful children. Gratefulness to have a mother who has been a wonderful role model and mentor for both myself and my friends. Thankfulness for a husband who is loving and a true partner in parenting. Today is a reminder of the bountiful blessings that have been gifted to me.
And, like other years, there is the "other" set of emotions that are called to mind and heart on this day. My heart grieves for those who have lost their mothers. Today is a day where the memories of times shared with their mothers are more bittersweet than usual. My heart aches for those who have mothers who are ill or dying on this day. Today is also a painful day for those who have had unhealthy relationships with their mom or mother figures. We joke about "mommy-issues" but it is no laughing matter, and today is a reminder of the dreams of "what could have been" having fallen far short from what actually was or is.
Unlike past years, today I have a new re-occurring image that continues to pervade my thoughts and weighs heavy on my heart. This image of a 17 year old young woman in Florida is never far away from my thoughts on a normal day. But, today, I can't shake her. She is Elijah's birth mom. She gave us the greatest gift that I now claim as my own son...and part of the reason that I celebrate, today. Is anyone celebrating with her?
On this day, who is thanking her for her sacrifice? I wish I could. But, words and pictures seem to be a small repayment for the tremendous gift of motherhood she gifted me.
I know that there are those who probably think that she is lucky. At 17 years of age and living in poverty, she got "rid" of her burden and now is free to be a kid, again. This thought is foolish, really. Her life might be easier without a baby in tow. But, the knowledge that she had a child is forever with her as well as all the unknowns (How is he right now? What is he doing?) and what-ifs (What if he was here right now? What if I could see him?).
I was reminded of this when watching an interview, recently, with the woman who was adopted from the streets by Jane Fonda. The interviewer asked the adopted daughter, "What do you think would have happened to you if Jane hadn't become your mother?" Her response was perfectly accurate and honest. "I would have wound up like all the other girls in my neighborhood. I would have found a man to protect me and had a baby who would love me."See? This 17 year old woman not only sacrificed the man to protect her but gave up the baby that would love her. She lost it all in order to ensure that Elijah would have everything. How is this not the most fierce example of selfless love?
So, on this Mother's Day, if you see tears in my eyes, it isn't from being over-tired. It is because I hold in my arms the reminder of what a mother's love really is. A mother's love is a love that is willing from before a child is born to sacrifice everything for their child.
