As most of you know, I had decided that this was not the time to head to Haiti with our congregation. With a handful of weak excuses and determination, I had decided that I would spend that week of August at the cabin with my family. It was a good plan...or so I thought.
Then, came the Tuesday where I was jolted to change my mind. I had been on the phone for the better part of the afternoon talking to others who were either going to Haiti or recently had decided they couldn't go. Emma overheard the last discussion as I took her to piano lessons. In a last ditch effort to procrastinate, Emma asked, "Mom, why don't you really want to go to Haiti?"
I was flustered. I wanted to rush her into her lessons and make my next round of phone calls. So, in my haste, I gave her a two word answer, "I'm scared." The truth of those words struck me. Bottom line is that I simply was scared...scared to leave my kids behind. I was scared to go to a country with such need and no quick solution. Scared to make the financial sacrifice. I was scared to tackle this major adventure.
In the silence, Emma responded, "Mom, that's okay. I guess I'm the only one in this family who has to try new things. Maybe you are just too old...."
Wisely, Emma raced out of the car and headed for the door. Guess the final dig on her mom gave her the motivation she needed to face her piano teacher. But, I was left with the uncomfortable realization that I was not being a good example to my daughter. And, fear is never a good enough excuse not to try something new.
I had been lecturing Emma about her unwillingness to try new things for most of her life. I was frustrated that she continued to eat the same things. Read the same author. Listen to the same music. She even prefers to wear the same shirts and shorts. Change is not something that Emma willingly embraces. And, now, in the car, I came to realize exactly where she "gets it from." Lightbulb!
So, I picked up the phone and texted Brian that I was going to Haiti. The good news is that he is going to join me so the adventure is even less scary! And, since making this decision, I am confident it is the right one. Amazing how the words of a 10 year old can cut through the haze and help lead me to the truth.
With all sincerity, thank you, Emma. I'm going to Haiti!
Brian & Tobi
