I Am A Rudder

A number of years ago, my father told me of an interaction that he had with his mother.  My memory is that my grandmother had told my dad that she was useless.  With her arthritic hands and withering body, she no longer saw herself as having a purpose among our family.  My father's response was priceless:

"Yeah, Mom, I guess you are useless.  As useless as an anchor at the bottom of the sea holding a cable that runs up to a boat that is thrashing about on the waves.  That anchor holds firm making it possible for the boat to remain afloat.

You see, Mom.  You may not feel that you have a no purpose.  But, it is your listening ear and wisdom that serves as an anchor for our family.  Your love remains strong and helps us to battle the waves and storms of daily life.  You are our anchor."

I love this imagery because it is so accurate of who my grandmother was in our family.  She sat in her recliner and listened to me for hours and hours and hours.  My grandmother could loving gift me with the wisdom of her years that I wasn't willing to hear from anyone else.  It is grandparents that anchor us to our past and can continue to help us chart the right course for our daily lives.

With this in mind, I got to thinking about myself and my role in our family. And after much consideration, I have decided that I am a rudder. To make the visual easier, I include this sailboat diagram from HowStuffWorks.com:

The rudder sets the course for the boat.  It gives direction so that the boat's momentum from the wind can be used to the best of the driver's ability.  While the waves of life crash against the boat striving to move it the direction of the water, the rudder can change direction.   The rudder is the steering wheel.

As the rudder in my family, I set the course through my actions and attitudes.  It can happen in little ways.  For example, if I greet the kids with a smile and my undivided attention after school, the remainder of the afternoon goes smoother.  It doesn't mean there aren't complaints about homework or piano practice.  But, these obstacles seem to almost be minor as I steer us through with a smile, a gentle reminder or a bit of snuggle time on the couch before tackling the task at hand.  However, if I am in a poor mood and quick to snap at their needs, I guarantee that everyone is in their rooms for time-outs before the first dish is pulled out of the cupboard for dinner.  It is almost as if my children can pick-up on my mood even before I do and then react accordingly to their own moods.  I am a rudder.  And, I have a choice how to steer the course of our afternoons.

As the rudder in my family, I can set the course for the big things, too.  I continue to sail this ship to church on Sundays and Wednesdays and create family time to talk about faith.  I want my kids when taking off in their own boats to keep their sails filled with the winds of the Holy Spirit.  As the rudder, I point our ship to opportunities to serve others like the Walk for Hunger on Thanksgiving morning.  I want my kids to value their gifts and the importance of giving and serving others.  As the rudder, I point our ship to the importance of education, friendships, and family. 

I have had some limited experience with sailboats during my time as a camp counselor many years ago.  And, I can confidently say that the rudder is nothing if you don't have a solid and long keel.  I'd love to be a keel.  They keep the boat from tipping.  But, I am too ADHD for that mission.  That is why God blessed me with a husband who is a very good keel.  He supports my "rudder-ness" 99.2% of the time by keeping us upright and moving on course. 

So, as my family continues to brace for the storms of life, the rudder and the keel are thankful for the anchors in our lives.  We are grateful for the good winds that come from the Holy Spirit, and we are confident that our family will remain afloat in the boat as long as we remain on course.